What a week....

Julia was put on a medicine for attention span about a month ago. At first we noticed horrible side effects when she was on a higher dose twice daily. Very tired. Irritable. Tantrums. I called the neurologist who said to decrease the dose by half, so we did. Only gave meds at night. Didn't see much other than her being tired after the meds. She slept well - as she usually did anyway.

We were instructed to increase the meds to a lower dose twice daily - morning and night - and WOW. What a nightmare. Normally she only really tantrums at home in the evenings - and they are usually "mild" (well, what we are used to), but they increased to ALL day long and the caregivers during the day started to question what the hell was up with her. When she went to Hippotherapy last week - the therapist said she seemed "drunk" and couldn't even walk the horse back in to do the brushing and feet, etc. I called her ped on friday and he told me to just stop the meds and get her back to baseline before we started something else - if anything at all.

Today was almost unbearable. She was FINE when she was in the pool, but in between - it was like she was bipolar. Happy and laughing and smiling - and the two seconds later - tantrums - throwing herself on the ground. NO consulation helping.

We put her down for a nap - thinking it was just the water and the sun - when she woke up - happy as a clam - then once we got home - horrible tantrums. Her caregiver that helps in the evenings was ready to walk out - but instead walked (drove) WITH ME to the pediatrician to make sure nothing else was wrong. I was kinda hoping she had a raging ear infection, but, no.....all ok - except her brain. He recomended either trying other meds (which shawn and I are afraid of) or a behaviorist. I sent an email out to a behaviorist to see what they say.....if they think they can help. Something has to change. The screaming and crying is out of control. I hope I hear back from her soon.

Meds or no meds...that is the question. I know meds help many, but know they all cause different issues with each individual. I DO NOT want to over medicate my daughter. The pediatrician respected my opinions, but did recommend giving her some time, and possibly trying another, as there MAY be one out there to help her attention span - and give our family some sort of "normal" or more normal life. BUT, if we have to go through this crap for months trying to find the right one - is it really worth it? Not just for all her caregivers and her brother - BUT FOR HER????????????????? I don't know the right answer.

I have been thinking of a change in my vet career to one of alternative medicine - so, why would I not consider this for my daughter? Well, I DO. But none of this is covered with insurance, and, well, my salary, Julia's school, my rent, my son, food, etc........are already putting me in the hole at least $500 - $1K per month. So,what am I supposed to do. Keep with what insurance will cover for now - but something has to give soon.

I love my daughter with all my heart - but even Shawn - with the patience of a saint - was at his wits end tonight.

Go MMR. I hope learning of Julia's situation will save at least a few kids from this fate.

It will all work out eventually - just have to keep on hanging on.

Susan