WHEW!

My brain has felt like a walking contradiction for the last four years since the vaccine injury to Julia. I have 30 more days to deal with that. Looking for work in a totally different field....and will find it...We will be ok. Its going to be tight for some time until I figure it out, but, I just have this calm feeling that it is all OK. It is HIS plan, and we will be fine! No more vaccines for me - in 30 days.

Thank you God, and Larry Magnuson, and Don, my future former boss, for being so understanding.....And Lord help me Kohls, or Rod letting me be a snow plow driver. Time for something new!!!! SO EXCITED, yet scared. I may be doing wrong by my kids for the next few months, but the potential of the years after is outstanding! Larry, I am here for you!

Susan, Shawn, Jack, and Julia

Settlement is almost DONE!

We are 99.9% done with the settlement......no numbers yet.....they can't tell me until all attorneys agree - but we are almost there. Yeah Julia - you WILL be taken care of forever. I LOVE YOU BABY GIRL!

Written (supposedly) by a child with autism......very true.....Julia and our family to a "T"

I understand that we will be visiting each other for some get-togethers this year. Sometimes these visits can be very hard for me, but here is some information that might help our visit to be more successful. As you probably know, I am challenged by a hidden disability called Autism, or what some people refer to as Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD). Autism/PDD is a neurodevelopmental disorder which makes it hard for me to understand the environment around me. I have barriers in my brain that you can’t see, but which make it difficult for me to adapt to my surroundings.

Sometimes I may seem rude and abrupt or silly and out of control, but it is only because I have to try so hard to understand people and at the same time, make myself understood. People with autism have different abilities. Some may not speak, some will write beautiful poetry. Others are whizzes in math (Albert Einstein was thought to be autistic), or may have difficulty making friends. We are ALL different and need various degrees of support.

Sometimes when I am touched unexpectedly, it might feel painful and make me want to run away. I get easily frustrated, too. Being with lots of other people is like standing next to a moving freight train and trying to decide how and when to jump aboard. I feel frightened and confused a lot of the time. This is why I need to have things the same as much as possible. Once I learn how things happen, I can get by OK. But if something, anything, changes then I have to relearn the situation all over again! It is very hard.

When you try to talk to me, I often can’t understand what you say because there is a lot of distraction around. I have to concentrate very hard to hear and understand one thing at a time. You might think I am ignoring you – I am not. Rather, I am hearing everything and not knowing what is most important to respond to.

Get-togethers are exceptionally hard because there are so many different people, places and things going on that are out of my ordinary realm. This may be fun and adventurous for most people, but for me, it’s very hard work and can be extremely stressful. I often have to get away from all the commotion to calm down. It would be great if I had a private place set up to where I could retreat every time I go to get-togethers.

If I cannot sit at the meal table, do not think I am misbehaved or my parents have no control over me. Sitting in one place for even five minutes is often impossible for me. I feel so antsy and overwhelmed by all the smells, sounds, and people – I just have to get up and move about. Please don’t hold up your meal for me – go on without me, and my parents will handle the situation the best way they know how.

Eating in general is hard for me. If you understand that autism is a sensory processing disorder, it’s no wonder eating is a problem! Think of all the senses involved with eating. Sight, smell, taste, touch AND all the complicated mechanics that are involved. Chewing and swallowing is something that a lot of people with autism have trouble with. I am not picky – I literally cannot eat certain foods as my sensory system and/or oral motor coordination are impaired.


Don’t be disappointed if Mom hasn’t dressed me in the best clothes there are. It’s because she knows how much stiff and frilly clothes drive me buggy! I have to feel comfortable in my clothes or I will just be miserable. When I go to someone else’s house, I may appear crabby. Things have to be done in ways I am familiar with or else I might get confused and frustrated. It doesn’t mean you have to change the way you are doing things – just please be patient with me, and understanding of how I have to cope. Mom and Dad have no control over how my autism makes me feel inside. People with autism often have little things that they do to help themselves feel more comfortable. The grown-ups call it “self-regulation” or “stimming.” I might rock, hum, flick my fingers, tap a string, or any number of different things. I am not trying to be disruptive or weird. Again, I am doing what I have to do for my brain to adapt to your world. Sometimes I cannot stop myself from talking, singing, laughing, or doing an activity I enjoy. The grown-ups call this “perseverating” which is kinda like self-regulation or stimming. I do this only because I have found something to occupy myself that makes me feel comfortable. Perseverating behaviors are good to a certain degree because they help me calm down.

Please be respectful to my Mom and Dad if they let me “stim” for a while as they know me best and what helps to calm me. Remember that my Mom and Dad have to watch me much more closely than the average child. This is for my own safety, and preservation of your possessions. It hurts my parents’ feelings to be criticized for being over-protective, or condemned for not watching me close enough. They are human and have been given an assignment intended for saints. My parents are good people and need your support and not rude remarks.

Gatherings are filled with sights, sounds, and smells. The average household is turned into a busy, frantic, festive place. Remember that this may be fun for you, but it’s very hard work for me to conform. If I fall apart or act out in a way that you consider socially inappropriate, please remember that I don’t possess the neurological system that is required to follow some social rules. I am a unique person – an interesting person. I will find my place at these celebrations that is comfortable for us all, as long as you’ll try to view the world through my eyes!



-Author Unknown



I do not know who wrote this, I do feel it can help so many, Bless the child that wrote this letter.

Seriously?

Why do bad things happen all the time to good people?

My mother got fired from her job of what, 15 years? One of my good friends got evicted from her apartment where she was living with herself and her two kids (and getting a whopping $125 a month in child support from her ex who makes bank, but claims to be unemployed). And many more examples available......as "some" would say - Karma - but I disagree. These are good people living in a world that just isn't fair at times.

We hope to be hearing something about the settlement in the next month or so.....so, hoping I can help out at least these two people if not more. I just don't understand it.

Julia is a bit sick this week - very grumpy, runny nose, tired, etc.....Hopefully she will be feeling better by saturday for the tournament. Lots of giving people have donated, and, if the weather holds up, it should be a success. Have to keep looking on the bright side! Haha!

Got some great pics of Jack and Julia, Shawn and I this last weekend. Can't wait to get some framed for our house! The photo session was a little like "herding cats", but we got it done!

Take care everyone! Hope to have some good news soon! And we may have three more roomates soon - just want to help out a good friend and her two kids!

Susan

Tourney info...contact shawn..again, copy and paste as my links don't work....

We, Shawn and I, are hosting a charity Softball Tournament on Saturday, October 9th to benefit The Rise School of Denver, a school for children with special needs located in Denver. At this time I feel it is appropriate that I disclose that our daughter, Julia attends the school. However, any proceeds raised will be given directly to the school for materials, tuition assistance for some of the other parents, and the general running of the school, not for Julia's tuition. They run entirely off of private money and donations. You can read more about this amazing school here: http://www.riseschool.org/denver/

Please let me know if you would be interested in bringing a team, looking to play on a team, sponsoring (very important!), or helping out with organizing. Any donation from $1 to $1M would help our cause. Also, please forward this to others that you play with that you think may be interested or be able to put together a team. Any company that donates will be allowed to set up an information table, and/or put a banner at the field, and have their name noted on the printed material and t-shirts.

The price for the tourney will be $225 per team.

We are also working on prizes for teams, so I will be checking to see what everyone prefers but I expect to have some nice awards, t-shirts, etc. Some possible donors include Chick-Fil-A, Direct TV and Microsoft!
The tournament website is www.shawnckelleyrealtor.com

Thank you all for your time and consideration! I know times are tough for all of us, but if you could help, some amazing kids would really benefit. Any questions, please feel free to contact us!

Sorry is some of you get this twice! :)
--
Susan Lawson (mom to Julia Grimes - brain injury in January 2007)
drslawson@gmail.com
303 335 7448


Shawn C. Kelley
Realtor/Broker
Absolute Real Estate Services LLC
(303) 570-8354
shawnckelleyrealtor@gmail.com

Lots of thoughts today...............

We woke up this morning..at about 9am - got to sleep in a bit, though Jack was already up and Julia was kicking the walls trying to get out of her "bed".....woo hoo....

We then decided to travel to Elizabeth to an "Alpaca Festival"....yes you read that right....alpacas.....Jack LOVED it. He was so infatuated with the chickens running around, the alpacas, the ducks, the goats, the food, and, of course......................the girls running around....LOTS of them, but he took a liking to one in particular. She was cute. THey chased the chickens a lot.

Julia was a little hesitant with all of it. She, too, was very interested with the chickens, and tried her best to chase them around, but never caught one and got frustrated. At one point, she saw Jack and his new girlfriend chasing them around and tried so hard to get into the action, but after about four steps, realized she couldn't physically do it, and just melted into a heap of sorrow. It is starting to get to the point where she realizes she is different somehow. I huddled with her on the chicken poop covered ground and just told her it was ok, even though I was crying too. She is TOO cognitive and has TOO much receptive knowledge - she KNOWS she can't do what the other kids can do, AND she can't talk.....She and I were at our breaking points today, but I think we both hid it pretty well.

Then, tonight Shawn and I got to go to dinner. What a wonderful dinner we had (on a gift card no less!!!). Again, I don't mean to look for triggers, but I find them everywhere. There was a super long wait for a table - Homecoming.....all the kids dressed up and looking pretty and trying to impress their dates...I could not stop my mind from going to that place - Julia will likely not go to homecoming in this manner. I tried to let it go. Then we were seated, and in my view, directly at the table across from us, a boy, about 12 years old, clearly autistic. Shawn and I managed to have a great dinner and good conversation, and good repoir with the waitress (who I may need to help me with a job soon-haha). It really was a good night. I am just scared about the future of everyone in my family. Not just income, but FUTURE. What are Julia's potentials. Where will Jack end up. What about Shawn and I. How will I make enough money if I leave the typical practice of Vet Med. My brain hurts.

It will all be OK. It will work out fine. Take it ONE DAY AT A TIME. All I (we) can do at this point.

Thanks for listening. Keep your prayers for Julia.

Susan

Woo Hoo

I AM IN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!