Life sucked. I was a struggling single mom who had been through one of the worst divorces that I could imagine. I was financially devastated, even going through a foreclosure on a half-million dollar house in Florida. I had just moved into what I called my "white trash house in my white trash neighborhood". Even my boyfriend, Shawn, and I were having our difficulties. But the hardest, darkest, most sorrowful presence in my life was my beautiful, though damaged, daughter, Julia. Julia suffered from a brain injury when she was only one year old....that was two and a half years ago, and the stress of raising her had led me to have resentment toward her, to not want to be around her, and to, some days, not even want to be her mother. This left me feeling like a horrible person.

I reached out to my Uncle Howard and Aunt Mary for help. They were into "nontraditional" types of "healing" and I thought, what do I have to lose...I am at such a desperate place in my life right now, I will try anything, even if it is "hoakie". They agreed to come out, but would not be able to make it til Memorial Day. I was honestly surprised they were going to make it at all, as every time it seemed I asked for help from people, they misunderstood me and moved even further back away from me and my family.

One evening while resentfully caretaking, as usual, for my daughter, Jack brought a newspaper in that had been laying on the driveway for three or four days....I had just left it there, hoping it would throw itself into the trash, as I didn't feel I had the energy to pick it up and throw it away like I usually did. Jack brought it in and asked....."what should I do with this mommy?". I told him to just throw it on the table and I would dispose of it later, after cleaning up after Julia - my little tornado, who daily left my house in shambles by the end of the day.

After Julia went to bed, for whatever reason, I took the newspaper out of its green plastic sleeve. The story on the front page caught my attention. It was the story of a mother, Margaret, who also had a daughter with a disease that left her unable to walk, talk, show emotions, eat, etc. This woman took care of her daughter, Alexis, for 29 years before Alexis died unexpectedly five years ago. Margaret was hosting an open house on Mother's Day, in honor of her daughter, at a house they were in the process of building for Alexis and her caretaker when Alexis passed away. I told Shawn I wanted to go to Alexis's House and I wanted to meet Margaret. I also read in the article that she had written a book on her experiences with Alexis, and was having a book signing the Saturday before Mother's Day. I wanted to go, but had to work and was unable to make it.

Mother's day arrived, and all four of us, Shawn, Jack, Julia, and I drove to Alexis's house. We were the first guests. Margaret thought we might be the only guests, as nobody showed up to her book signing the day before. When we walked in, we introduced ourselves, and I told her about Julia and that I really wanted to talk to her. Margaret was visibly moved and even teary, as, in her words, she now knew why she had the open house. See rememberingalexis.com. I have no idea why it won't post the link, but worth cutting and pasting.

Memorial Day weekend arrived, and so did Mary and Howard. I was not sure what to expect, but was pretty sure it was going to be some kind of judgemental intervention on how I was raising my children and how negative a person I was. I had prepared myself all week for the comments that I was sure were going to be made, and had my back up responses programed to defend myself and try to make them understand WHY I was so negative. I KNEW I was right and they were wrong and I was going to prove my point on how difficult life was for me and get some sort of justification from them. Well, that didn't happen.

Mary and Howard explained to me their thought and belief system, and did some treatments on me to try to rid me of at least some of my negativity. They also treated Julia. They treated my friend Pam, who also has a brain injured child, Makenzie, who came and spent Saturday with us. The also had the pleasure of meeting Margaret. Margaret and Howard seemed to have a lot of thoughts and beliefs in common - as she said he didn't tell her anything that she didn't already know. He showed her a few more things and treated her as well, and if anything, took care of a pain in her neck. :) Howard and Mary bought several of her books, and through some connections, are going to try to get the word of her book out to many more people than it would simply by word of mouth. Ironically enough, Margaret had skeptically visited a psychic who told her a younger man in Denver would help get her book out to many people - could this be Howard? He is a little younger! :)

I am definitely feeling less "stressed and negative" than I was four days ago. I see and feel beauty and strength when I look at Julia. I am not "healed" but I have a better understanding of how "thoughts become things" and am going to try to incorporate this into my life on a daily basis. I am sure I will slip back into the negativity from time to time, but hope I am able to pull myself back out with some of the techniques I have learned and that really do seem to work.

Thank you Howard and Mary for your visit. You touched many lives while you were here in such a short period of time.

Susan